Wednesday 13 July 2011

Summer 2011 Part 2

I received my first comment the other day. I'm so pleased, which may sound odd if you read it, but its from someone who wants to help me and they asked a lot of good questions. I have been thinking about what they said very carefully, really taking everything on board and I want to reply in a way:
I have thought about its seriously. He does support me in this endeavour and knows that it is going to be a slow process. I'm not doing this for Him, and I think that it is important for me to say that as it could seem like I am. I really am doing this for myself, as it has been a major issue in my life ever since I can remember. He does bring out the best in me.. I want to do more stuff and try new things when I'm with Him. I feel more confident to talk and make friends when He's there. But even though He's helping me do this, He isn't here, so it is support from afar, and therefore He can't be 'moulding' me into what He wants because at the moment, every change that has occurred has been in my general attitude to life and in work. I really do appreciate your comment, and I have considered everything that you have said, and I think I will just watch out for any moulding in the future...

So He has come back and gone again. Massively sad that I only saw Him from a night, but I know that the next few months are going to be ok because we are going to be able to talk to each other. Therefore I need to get on with the rest of my summer, working away and seeing my friends.
I feel a lot more confident at the moment. I can't wait to get my skates and learn some tricks. I want to sort out my foot and go running again, and His best friend has offered to teach me to ride a bike whilst He is away.
This confidence might be because I know that we are in a really good place right now and we are working well together even though we have been and are so far apart from each other for the summer. I really truly believe that we can get though this summer and come out of it a stronger 'couple'.
It is also because I have learnt that I need to live my life and not just exist. I only get one shot at it, so I am going to make the most of it. I am going to conquer my fear of falling and get on with it.
I'm in a positive place right now and I intend to stay here for as long as I can!

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