Tuesday, 30 October 2012

Thursday, 21 June 2012

The Finishing Post.

So thats the end.
One whole year of learning to accept myself for who I am has come to a close.
Although, I can't really say that it really has. I honestly think I will never stop learning to accept myself as myself.
I can't say that this resolution has changed my outlook on myself completely, as I am still frantically battling with myself about how I look, act, work, am.
However, I can say that I am now concerned about these things for me and not for how others perceive me. This might sound strange, but to give you an example, I am off on holiday next week with my boyfriend, his family and his brothers girlfriend. I am trying to look my best for the holiday as it is bikini one, and the brothers girlfriend is tall, blonde, skinny mini, and almost certainly will tan a beautiful golden brown. I want to get in shape because I want to look at pictures and think 'yeah, we have totally opposite body shapes etc., but we both look good'. I am genuinely not concerned what others will think when they see us in the same picture.
I am also more confident in my own abilities. I am a good baker, and have come to realise and own the fact that I am. This has meant that I am going to apple for the Great British Bake Off 2013, and I plan to start my own baking business when I finish University.
I am also confident in my academic ability. This was realised when I came out with Firsts in the assignments I did when I was depressed around Christmas.
I am confident in the fact that my amazing boyfriend loves me for who I am and not what I could be if I tried, as I am all that I can be, because I want to be the best version of myself. But I know that if/when I slip he will let me know and help me get back on track.
It was a struggle keeping going sometimes, I'm not going to lie. There has definitely been BIG bumps along the long and winding road. However, out of sheer determination and the support from family, friends, and most importantly, you the readers, that kept me going.
Thank you.
I have learnt so much about myself in this one year. However, I know that I have to keep on learning..!

(This is not the end of my blogging days. I am starting a new challenge: a baking challenge. I need to finalise the details, but as soon as I start I will post it on my twitter: @amybulger)

Tuesday, 22 May 2012

The Home Straight

So I havent posted in a few weeks, and I guess I don't really have an excuse.
Up to Thursday, I had been working on the write up from my trip to Morocco. It was a nightmare to write up as it just seemed never ending. I finally got it handed in though.
I also had been galavanting about a bit as well. I have been to Edinburgh to visit my uncle and I have been down to Plymouth twice as well. With all this travelling around the country, Ive actually only spent a short amount of time in Newcastle this term!
I am writing this on the train back up from the South, having spent a lovely weekend with my boyfriend for his birthday. Its just been so lovely, I am always 100 times happier when I am with him, but this time it was different. Yesterday marked the start of summer for me. The combination of sun, feeling warm outside and the feeling that everyone was slightly more relaxed, made this weekend very close to perfect. In fact, if it wasn't because of my exam next week, the need to go to the gym and to see the girlies, I doubt  I would have got on the train today.
It is also the final month of my years resolution to become more self acceptance. On critical reflection, I have not tried quite as hard as I should have done. I have discussed it with the man, and he agrees that when all that stuff happened just before Christmas, I retreated back, and havent quite been able to make up for it. In some ways, I have got worse, but I am talking to people to rectify those things.
However, I look upon this month as the last chance that I have to really go for it. When it comes to uni stuff I only have this one exam on the 30th, and then I move out of my current flat the next day. That weekend I also have the Jubilee flotilla, which will be hugely fun, but will also be long. Therefore I have ample time to really get to it. I am going to be going to the gym 4 times a week, in hope that I can carry it on though out the whole summer and might even start training for another long distance run. I am going to get back on top of my diet, so I dont feel like I have to do silly things to compensate for what I eat. I am going to go and and have supper with my new flatmates on Thursday and sign the contract, and I am going to cook supper for the Deloitte girls on Friday. I also need to get in contact with work and tell them when I am free, and then I need to decide what I am going to do about getting the ball rolling on my dissertation.
I am going to need to put in some serious effort to make this last month really count, but I am determined to do it!
Wish me luck!

P.S. I have also decided not to stop blogging after this year is up. After reading other blogs, I am going to do one more centred around my baking and its progression, but also with little posts of my everyday life to keep you all updated. So watch out!

Tuesday, 1 May 2012

May Day

I've been back in Uni for just over 2 weeks, and its all getting a little bit stressful.
Its 16 days until my write up for my Morocco field trip and I havent really done anything for it. The presentation we did the other week went surprisingly well considering we were told we had done it wrong at the time.
I spent the weekend at my dads, where I got set a baking challenge for the weekend. I was challenged to make choux buns, ice cream, grassini and macaroons. All bar the macaroons went well... we don't know how the macaroons went so wrong, but I guess all I need to do is practice!
This weekend I am off to Plymouth to go and visit my boyfriend (still a bit weird saying that)! I am so looking forward to it, even though I do have to work when I am there, but just to spend time with him will be bliss. We are also going to see The Avengers, which I am really excited about.
Being the 1st of May, it is 2 months until I go on holiday. Recently I have been bad about going to the gym, so I thought that this significant date would prompt me to getting back into it again. I want to be toned for my bikini!
Anyway, not much has been happening other than that.
Oh,  found a house for next year! I am living with an old friend and 2 of his friends in a gorgeous house, 2 mins from all my friends.
Its looking like everything is finally falling into place!

Wednesday, 18 April 2012

Easter Baking

Just thought I would show you all what I made over easter:
Cheese Sables


 Easter Nests

Easter Chocolate Cupcakes

I had A LOT of fun!

Sunday, 15 April 2012

Start Of The End Of The Year

I am currently on the train heading back up to university for my final term of this year. Even though I have a lot of work to do this end, I'm not really that worried about it (although I'm sure that I will be soon).
Just the fact that I have only got 6 weeks left in this year, and I'm not going to be there for some of the time (3 long weekends), just makes me happy. Oh, and the fact that I am no longer single...!!
I have eaten far too much this holidays, but I think that it is wat my body needed. So now I just need to tone up for the summer so I look acceptable in a bikini!
I am in a good place now, and I think that my confidence is growing again.
I have realised that it is coming dangerously close to the end date of my endeavour for self acceptance. I'm not quite sure that I am ready for it to end, but the fact that it is is making me want to give it that final push.
So everything is on the up, or so it seems. Just need to keep it up!

Wednesday, 4 April 2012

Spring is Here

Well I am back from Morocco. It was a really good trip: the country itself was amazing (really want to go back as a tourist), the people who went were a laugh and I have made some great friends, the team leader was as mad as a hatter, and the food was incredible. They only downers I can think of was that I got really ill at the end of the 10 days with a really bad fever and that looking a dipping bedding planes got boring after day 1.
I am now on my Easter holidays. So far I have spent it with Him, which was lovely: making fires in the woods, toasting marshmallows and drinking Crabbies. I am now at my dads for the days before the bank holiday weekend.
I don't intend to do any uni in the 10 days I have left of the holidays. This might turn out to be a mistake, but I don't really care. All I want to do is enjoy having some time off by spending time with my friends and family, eating copious amounts of chocolate and hot cross buns and do lots of baking.
I am in a much better place now and I intend to get even happier. I have even started to make plans for my birthday.
I love Spring. Full of new life, sun (sort of) and hope. Lets hope that this feeling continues for the start of the new term...!