Thursday, 21 June 2012

The Finishing Post.

So thats the end.
One whole year of learning to accept myself for who I am has come to a close.
Although, I can't really say that it really has. I honestly think I will never stop learning to accept myself as myself.
I can't say that this resolution has changed my outlook on myself completely, as I am still frantically battling with myself about how I look, act, work, am.
However, I can say that I am now concerned about these things for me and not for how others perceive me. This might sound strange, but to give you an example, I am off on holiday next week with my boyfriend, his family and his brothers girlfriend. I am trying to look my best for the holiday as it is bikini one, and the brothers girlfriend is tall, blonde, skinny mini, and almost certainly will tan a beautiful golden brown. I want to get in shape because I want to look at pictures and think 'yeah, we have totally opposite body shapes etc., but we both look good'. I am genuinely not concerned what others will think when they see us in the same picture.
I am also more confident in my own abilities. I am a good baker, and have come to realise and own the fact that I am. This has meant that I am going to apple for the Great British Bake Off 2013, and I plan to start my own baking business when I finish University.
I am also confident in my academic ability. This was realised when I came out with Firsts in the assignments I did when I was depressed around Christmas.
I am confident in the fact that my amazing boyfriend loves me for who I am and not what I could be if I tried, as I am all that I can be, because I want to be the best version of myself. But I know that if/when I slip he will let me know and help me get back on track.
It was a struggle keeping going sometimes, I'm not going to lie. There has definitely been BIG bumps along the long and winding road. However, out of sheer determination and the support from family, friends, and most importantly, you the readers, that kept me going.
Thank you.
I have learnt so much about myself in this one year. However, I know that I have to keep on learning..!

(This is not the end of my blogging days. I am starting a new challenge: a baking challenge. I need to finalise the details, but as soon as I start I will post it on my twitter: @amybulger)

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