I have recently had coffee with a friend who asked me a very good question. She asked me how I was doing since the summer, since the start of this blog.
I have been thinking about this quite carefully and I now think I can give a proper answer instead of the vague one I gave her at the time.
I depression got confirmed and 'diagnosed' by the doctor today. It is the same combination of things that I wrote about in my last post, I just now have an 'official' label for my unhappiness, even though I know that, with the right help, the light at the end of the tunnel isn't that far away.
However, even in this bad place, and all its symptoms, I still feel more confident in myself. I feel like I can ask for the help that I need from the people I need it from, even if they are proving a little reluctant, whereas previously I wouldn't have been able to.
The most important thing for me though, the thing that is a sure sign of my progress since June, is that I know that I will get better. I want to get better and get back to living and enjoying my life again.
I have already started making some decisions, and there are still some quite big ones to make, potentially life changing ones, but I feel that with more thinking time and input from others I can make them.
So I can say, that een with this low, I am, in general, still becoming more confident and self accepting as time goes on.
Just got to get over this small bump in the road..
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