Turning Points

There is something that you all should know about me: I actually have a soundtrack to my life. I know it might seem cheesy, but I can match a song to a moment in my life perfectly. Don't know how this is relavent to my voyage of self discovery, but if I start using song lyrics to express myself, that is why. (Don't worry copy write people, they will be referenced).
Back to the blog.
I had a really good day yesterday. Think it was due to the fact that I had a good day at work, doing my job well and therefore feeling really good about myself. Also, Djokovic won Wimbledon, which was amazing. Made me realise that determination and perseverance really does pay off.
I went to the doctors this morning and had some bad news. I can't do any impact sport for another 10 days as I have pulled a ligament in my foot. Joy. But I'm going to ignore the doctors advice and give my foot another 3 days rest. I need to get out there and go running. Get my figure back. I wont be stopped!
I have had a slight confidence low recently. I'm finding it quite hard. He is on his Lad holiday, and we aren't actually together, there is nothing stopping him sleeping with other people. I know its the same when hes at university, but I think I'm finding harder because in the holidays He's mine... and so in my head, even though he is out of the country, He is still mine. I dont know if that makes sense or if I'm just being ridiculous and shouldn't feel like that. But I do and it sucks.
I've tried to overcome this feeling but playing an X-Box game that involves a lot of shooting, but it isn't really having the desired affect.
Then I find out that He is planning some big romantic surprise. And that turns everything upside down. WHAT AM I SUPPOSED TO DO????
I'm going to leave it. Sounds odd, but I have told him that I really don't want him to sleep with people out there... there is nothing else I can do.
I know this Blog seems a lot like its actually about my relationship between me and Him. But it is the biggest thing to happen to me, falling in love, and its never happend before. Every turn in the relationship is new to me, and so my confidence fluctuates as I go into every development blind.
I'm really trying to focus and keep myself busy.. guess I've got to try harder.
On a happier note, I do feel more confident overall. I feel that I can do anything that I put my mind to and that I might be able to say all those things that I need too soon.
I think these lyrics are what I need to strive for:
'I'm though accepting limits, 'Cause someone says thy're so. Some things I cannot change, But till I try, I'll never know' (Defying Gravity, Wicked the Musical.)